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11/9/09 08:39 am - a note for all

for those who don't have me friended on facebook or hear I lost my job Friday and is now job hunting. Just thought I tell the LJ list
Current Mood: hopeful

11/2/09 08:55 pm - Damn the spirits are not favoring me with life

Yeah all who have read know I been having my share of the shit too.

well today somethings took it and now I wished I did registered when I could to be a fedurley registered minister (for being pagan.) it give me a leagal request of of work to go and camp in a woods and invite "fellow belivers" to camp and pray............................should have done it before they changed the system (thanks pres GW)

yeah I need a good decent stroll in the woods and oh course close friends to enjoy with ( looking forward to the tax time)


but any of you SCAers have looked at the event calender and saw the bardic maddnes is in De pere WI I live a literal 40 min away and the same weekend is the echos of the past trade show. (they say 1700 to 1900 but there are a decent mix of 1660 to 1910 in truth)

so if weather, budget, any any other mudaine crap dose not  happens I invite though on my list (sca) to drop by my families home and or go to the show get deals on fabrics, leather, and other goodies......or just to have fun and make contacts.(ps in this group I do have a good repore so me and possible other connections may help.      just sayin this now so all can save and have a double fun time.



Mood: semi vexed

10/31/09 08:51 pm - Samhain cermonial results

I did my anual  Samhain cerimony and I meditated for over 2 hours. results on myself and thoughs around me were scary but in all true.


First one was: my friends feel and seem to keep me as an attack dog / open ear to tell. It showed me my friends look at me as last to call and "oh he won't mind" but when shit hit the fan last min they call me .....mainly for help to move or prep for parties I will not be invited to.

second: I have been a bad boyfriend, constantly calling my girl at work , interupting her sewing and or other plans, never give her and myself us time .......Yeah babe you will try to counter this but ...yeah.

these visions scared me.

Ich bin bin niemand sogar zu meiner Freundin
Current Mood: scared

10/31/09 12:55 pm - Bored on Holloween

Yeah it sucks........Only 1 well 2 responces to my invite and 1 was sorry can't make it due to other plans and the other 1 was when I get done taking my daughter out for trick or treating I may swing over.

Most my friends are off to parties or having parties and no invite.....

total suck right now I am sitting in my room and no place to go except bars we never get the number of trick or treaters and really don't want to deal with idiots at bars.


Well happy holloween to thoughs who are doing something
Current Mood: bored

10/11/09 06:21 pm - Wishing to be able to cry.........agin

Last night the steam century group did an event thrown together in 2 maybe 3 weeks that we had since JULY!!!!!!!! Now my girl has been middle person 1 on why is this not working. Well now at the event they had my friend Julie, last min, get ready after she volentered to cover for the girl who became sick but told everyone in a group email that she be able to make it. ( fyi no one knew what the damn mystery was)
Now game time, I finaly learned the other carnies that day and back stories. (yes that means 2 hours) to top it off the members of the fashion show became pinned in the changing rooms by an act we schdeuled so a few members (found out later) started to have angsioty attacks and panic attacked being pinned together in a 6 x 6 alcove which with items made it close to 4 x 4. I personaly ended up covering for the 2 heads that said they barker ...or at least 1 while are head of event got to do what he wished................smooze with the people and mainly the girls.

later I was approched by Jack and told that Julie (my friend )was having a sever ashumua attack. thanks to Maggie for covering I took the girl home and got Julie home (at 3:45 am) to drive that hour and be able to preform I had consumed 6 cups of coffee and then a bottle of mountain dew.............this lead to me getting about 1 maybe 2 hours of sleep.     later today I read that other members not involved that everything went great and or perfect....now our head is asking if we could try it agin .......................I know of at least 3 who will not.

I am scared now what all was and will be discussed ( i know my words will sound mute when I speak my opions and then be belittled as though I am 8 years old. )

Now as I type this I feel like saying guess what all !!!!!!!!!!FUCK OFF!!!!!!!!!

I wish not to but they have given me the feeling that we will use you so the girl dose not feel bad ( wrong it has and I refuse for them to use her to get to me....I rather leave then let that happen. ( It is fun but if that is how it will be I will do as I say) (babe do not think you need to leave I only say this so that they will understand how I stand.)

so yeah   right now I am at the point of  depression stress and some minor morals

Current Mood: distressed

10/5/09 09:30 pm - A pleage for the sake of both of us

To my Girl .....................I say this now. I stated many a time  that we need to have a no event time together.........................Damit  I been bad at that so I say to you after the new year and or our convention obligations are at a less I want to have a night for us to have a NO BUSISNESS discussion fun night.. (Babe I hope we could go off seaperate at Diasho for are 2 year ??????) hate to ask with friends and performance group around with suggetions of group dinning. I only ask we are willing to do a F it around Daisho crew Friday night.

Sorry agin but I am wishing to do a together event time event with out group performance.


HUGS
your  Boy
Current Mood: hopeful

10/3/09 11:16 pm - Writer's Block: Life is a masquerade

Are you planning to dress up for Halloween? How long do you typically plan your costume? Do you keep it a secret?


View 1030 Answers

If I go down to Madison liked planned I will with a accepting group. Other then that  I will refuse to dress up any more besides my biaus to fight off the red neck KKK minded people of the Fox valley. (stems from a last 2 years wounds here)
Tags: , , , ,

9/21/09 08:37 pm - Typhoid male?

I am thinking either I am the male typhoid Mary..........My sensei got shingles 3 days into his trip in DC  due to home land security doing a frisk bare handed on skin.( fyi he is a type 1 dibetic)

now my younger brother came home today and had a 103 temp and shivers ( trust me I have been nurse maid above and beyond.)

this is on top of the usal care of my father that still mentaly hits me to this day. Now I and trying to fight my mother to provent her from getting what my brother has.........to all you try stopping a perental instinct.  I have won thus far of saying a phrase I never want to say to my parents.  ....................The phrase is " SHUT UP AND I WILL SAY WHO TAKES CARE OF THE  FAMILY CURRENTLY."     I hate saying that since I have now got a life, finally,(aka a damn beautiful, smart, and talented girlfriend, 3 activity groups I like ( ring game second age and stem century...via the techs and actors .....if that staes why. ) but the hard thing is care for my family and destroy my new life? (btw my family says live and grow) but my loyalty of my past says care for my parnets for respect of life given.


DAMN MORALITY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am going to go and prey and if possible calm my mind ( hopes)

Sorry all I will prey for hope and gain for all too. 
Current Mood: confused

8/19/09 09:42 pm - I tend to steal apperently

Stolen agin....



***********FOODOLOGY***************
What is your salad dressing of choice?
Salads = bait for me

What is your favorite sit-down restaurant?
The 1 I have not been able to go to in town here called the Roxy ................it has been 6 years with a promissed dinner by my older brother for being a care taker for my nephews over the summer.

What food could you eat every day for two weeks and not get sick of?
beef sashimi with good white or brown rice and a pot of olong or green tea to drink.

What are your pizza toppings of choice?
I am picky with chains but I usealy go chessae extra cheeses.

What do you like to put on your toast?
Butter.... real butter, or plain.

***********TECHNOLOGY***************
How many televisions are in your house?
my own 1. rest of the family 5  with other family members

What color is your cell phone?
standard matte silver ...cheapest model

Do you have an iPod?
No

***************BIOLOGY******************



Are you right-handed or left-handed?
Right but have been becoming more amodecortist

What is the last heavy item you lifted?
a 170 pound refridgerator (5 today)

Have you ever been knocked unconscious?
yes by medical and only.

************BULLOLOGY**************
If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die?
Ahhh ................damn ..........aahh sorry I been legaly dead at age 22 when I went in to cardiac and respitory arrest for 3 min then came back. so to say now I guess if told I say in truth "I guess I will see.)

If you could change your name, what would you change it to?
Quinn

Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1,000?
No I know how my body is effected by hot sauce.

**************FAVORITOLOGY****************
Season?
early spring late fall (it is cool then)

Holiday?
Halloween, Truthful Yule date, mostly lunar dates

Day of the week?
depends if said holidays are on it.

Month?
August just due to my B day other wise no.

***********CURRENTOLOGY*****************
Are you missing someone?
My girl and all groups I have fun with......every where.

What is your mood?
depressed (finacese) other than that hopeful for a second job.

What are you listening to?
for 1 night, not my younger brothers friends and him shooting their air soft guns and their video gaming till 3:30 am.

What is your current worry right now?
not able to pass my courses due to finaceces holding me, plus not able to do things with the groups I know (ie: MACS, Steam Century, Geek Kon.)

***************RANDOMOLOGY*****************
What was the first place(s) you went this morning?
Work

What was the last movie you saw?
Ice age 3

Do you smile often?
not too offten

***************OTHEROLOGY*****************
How many pair of flip-flops do you own?
None.

When was the last time you had a run-in with the cops?
3 weeks ago, I was suspected of shooting out windows with a bb gun while going to work.

Who was the last person you talked to?
my girl and same old with my father taking care of him

Who was the last person you hugged?
Sarah the at the last SC meeting I could go to in person.

Do you always answer your phone?
No choice when home or cell. ..............like most job hunting.

It's four in the morning and you get a text message, who is it?
random WRONG text I have to pay for.

If you could change your eye color what would it be?
fire blue and in truth white.

What flavor do you add to your drink at Sonic?
seen commercials here no sonic so i say ???

Do you own a digital camera?
Yes.

Have you ever had a pet fish?
Yes. I had to take care of my younger brothers for him till they died.

What is your favorite Christmas song?
i love the music to carol of the bells.

What's on your birthday wish list?
since my 28th is 7 days away ..................a broach pin at ravens, a certian type of stone at relics(the girl knows what 1) other than that just ability to spend some fun time with the girl (no ties) and have a care free time.

Can you do push-ups?
Ah how many last I attempted was a total of 73 before the no pain rule.

Can you do the splits?
up till age 14 then high school and laziness kicked in

Does the future make you more nervous or excited?
My truthful feel would make most flee ........lets put it that way.

Do you have any saved texts?
text on phone no due to price charged to me ....................actual text I try to save real historical and indvisiduals if I can.

Have you ever been in a car accident?
dose deer count? other wise no but been witness to 9

Do you have an accent?
midwest neuteral...........as told but known to fool with southern, germanic, irish, and scott tones.

What was the last movie to make you cry?
never cried at a movie.

Do you have plans for tonight?
Pray....type this up ...........pray (for a second job)

Have you ever felt like you hit rock bottom?
3 literal times (salvaging as much to stop the 4th)

Name 3 things you bought yesterday?
if I had money to do so .....hmmmm ..............partial of my tution.

Have you ever been given roses?
by my mom (graduation)

Have you ever met someone who changed your life?
all in ring game and macs

Name two people who might complete this?
donno

Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?
not telling true responce.

Do you have any tattoos/piercings?
left ear for piecing, and a tattoos 1 that is not finished.

Does anyone love you?
I hope the girl dose.

Would you be a pirate?
Have done it re-enacting wise but it be hard to say.

What songs do you sing in the shower?
I don't.

Have you ever had someone sing to you?
not just t me but watching prefomances.

When did you last cry?
age 13 never since due to my father's side brain washing me since age 8.

Have you held hands with anyone today?
today no

Are most of the friends in your life new or old?
2 old and many new

Do you like pulpy orange juice?
No.

What is something your friends make fun of you for?
being to inept to what is a truth and a joke.

Current Mood: thoughtful

8/15/09 09:57 pm - Shocked confession

I was shocked as open and intune with things are. My mother  did not know till tonight i was a Shawmanistic. I could see it did hit here but not as bad as my father (when he was not in demencia state. I  told her though it was due to her spirit of "find your place and faith" that helped this coming.

I thought she got the hints but I guess with supporting a family of 4 she can ignore that.

I hope she will be happy I found my faith (in truth)

Holding my prayer beads I ask all spirits I prey to make inter family work in a benifit.





" I am true to what I am and to toughs whom can not except .............I forgive you."

 
Current Mood: hopeful

8/13/09 06:55 pm - for my sake and time

I only post this as a regiment I due after a certian time period when it feels it is needed.

To all: I am sorry for anything I have done, did not do, said or not said, typed or did not type. I ask all to except my apology for what ever I have done to them in life or aquaintance.

I do this to help me mental and mostly spiritual. so please if you have any truthful qwams with me please post them with not regeret.

thankyou and a heartful apology


Mood :Spiritual (since LJ has no icon for mood like that)

8/10/09 08:07 pm


stolen from alienorh

she posted 5 words Meme

I asked her, "I like to find out what 5 words you see me with? (please be true) if you want."

she replied, "When I think of you or try to describe you to someone who doesn't know you I tend to think:

sign-language, honest, helpful, reenactor, chivalrous."

Well here are mt 5 I think of myself (yes I am ready to be hit on the head for it)

1. Dumb shit
Yes I feel I know shit and never will dispite what I say in prson.

2. honest: yes i will always hold to this even aginst myself

3. failure: I say this since most school programs where cut and had to restat a program 5 time in the last 7 years I been trying college.

4. Demon: I say this just I never wish to lose my temper on full / what I know I can do.

5. I will let those who know me fill this 1 in.
Current Mood: depressed

8/1/09 09:24 pm - Long week

Well only 1 day left for EAA here. (YAY!) Let me tell you somethings about where I work there.

I work at a traffic post know as gate 301 / 302 (they are 2 intersections right next to each other) well we are literaly the 2 busiest on the whole grouds, since the way out is through us. WWEELL, the thing I always hate is the pedestrians will not stop for cars (even though we are veical traffic only) we average close to 3,000 in foot traffic by us a day. Other then that and getting heat stroke, sunburnt (many times even with the highest sun screen out there) and the BLOODY IDIOTS! I work it for that little bit of extra cash (or in this case tuition)
Other then that today the girl and her dad came up and got to walk around. I felt bad most the vendors started to close at 5:30 and the air show was mainly the WW2 fighters show (cool BTW) and then stunt piolts that basicaly repeated the same stunts but a different plane. well after we saw all where closing we decided to get a bite to eat. We went to a place on the opposite to the event (avoid the crowds) had a good meal and chatted and had a good time.

D'oh, almost fogot. I gave the girl her b-day gift and she got me a new tea cup from mitsuwa ^_^
Well besides finishing my last day tommarrow and looking into working another event for so extra cash I am planning for school and a dreaded day on the 26th ............Yes, My birthday.

so Cheers all hope to see some of you all soon.
Current Mood: tired

7/23/09 09:02 am - UPDATE

Well all I thought I post what has gone on and will be happening.

I went to dub dub and had fun, except the wind storm on Friday morning. After returning form dub dub I started to get ready for security orentation which came and went. I found out that the class I have to repeat is going to be offered last time this semester so now my tuition is at $1,100 >_<. I look at the plus side is I can deduct this on my taxes.
Now starting Saturday (7-25) I start working security at EAA and hoep that the wages from this job will take most the burdon of the tution and then I can save for books.
It sucks that this Sunday is my girl's b day and I can't go enjoy it with her. but hopefuly since I have 2 day passes, she and her dad will hopefuly make it up and I can walk around the event with them. 
I been helping spam the fox valley for geek kon and hope that I can get some preregs up here (*note get reg forms from girl)
I found out I won the guild master of warriors in the boffer group I belong to. (I guess tossing a steel helmet in to the ring works)

so yeah thats about it besides work work work....... 

so cheers all and hope to be able to attend some fighter practices in the futcher.
Current Mood: busy

7/7/09 10:59 am - Back for a bit

Well I went to CONvergence and had fun. I made some fun conection including me being able to inturpert as a intern. The some of the gliches that happened for me and the girl were
1)we both had, as she worded, "perfect storms" playing the mysteries. Other then that we had fun as far as I could tell.
2) The Sofetel.................First never go there if you can, there policies are that of a credit card company aka hidden charges.

Other then the traffic we encountered we made it to Madison with no problem and then I made it home to Oshkosh no problem.
Today and tomarrow I will be packing for Warlords and warriors. YAY!
Other then that preping to work at EAA as security (sadly EAA starts on my girl's birthfday....hey babe still ned a list from ya) and also saving for school.

So hope to see most the SCAers I know this weekend

Cheers
Current Mood: bouncy

6/17/09 11:47 am - Preparing for the heckness

I am currently getting ready for alot of back to back events.
First my last ampguard event the weekend of the 26th thru the 28th.
then the 1st thru to the 5th, convergance.
And finaly WW on the 9th thru the 12th.

wow I am going to doing alot of traveling these next 3 weeks.

so back to preping.

cheers
Current Mood: busy

6/15/09 07:10 pm - Second job and a fun music link


Well I did not get the second job .......i did not have the flexability he wanted. In truth no sweat since this is the 3rd time this type of deal came up with him.

Now for the link.........I like this song by Flogging molly. It always makes me feel like doing some fun dancing.  So to all enjoy.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z-52Yf2F2qU

Cheers
Current Mood: mellow

6/13/09 10:07 pm - Stlen from another entry

1. Your Middle Name:

2. Age:

3. Single or Taken:

4. Favorite Movie:

5. Favorite Song or Album:

6. Favorite Band/Artist:

7. Dirty or Clean:

8. Tattoos and/or Piercings:

9. Do we know each other outside of LJ?

10. What's your philosophy on life?

11. Is the bottle half-full or half-empty?

12. Would you keep a secret from me if you thought it was in my best interest?

13. What is your favorite memory of us?

14. What is your favorite guilty pleasure?

15. Tell me one odd/interesting fact about you:

16. You can have three wishes (for yourself, so forget all the 'world peace etc' malarky) - what are they?

17. Can we get together and make a cake?

18. Which country is your spiritual home?

19. What is your big weakness?

20. Do you think I'm a good person?

21. What was your best/favorite subject at school?

22. Describe your accent

23. If you could change anything about me, would you?

24. What do you wear to sleep?

25. Trousers or skirts?

26. Cigarettes or alcohol?

27. If I only had one day to live, what would we do together? (If you have no idea, just say something crazy, it'll entertain me!)

28. Will you repost this so I can fill it out for you?
Current Mood: sleepy

6/13/09 04:56 pm - Updates

Well I guess I should recap shit that has happened and some good things that have and could be happening.

2 weeks ago I got a call that a guy I knew from the gun shows / re-enacting died of his stomach cancer.  I was decently aquainted with him but they said he went quitly and he said he had a good life.

Well I am starting a rebuild and salvage of the screwed up minis I worked with the one elf I have a made it as close to as I originaly had it built now comes repainting it (rolls eyes) That still mean I have to BUY a new horseman and rebuild and paint. The girl and I went the Pegasus games and I found the parts I need but they did not have the rider.
Plus side I have a list of minis i want (I looked on the Reapr minis site)

I may have a lead and or second job at Look Sharp (a sharp and pointy store in the Appleton mall) I know the owner and he can be aa asshole but he wants to look at the dates I need off and see if my schedule works for what he needs.

I saw 2 movies I wanted to see this summer so far. Night at the museum 2, and finaly, Star trek. Still left I want to see is: Public enemies, GI Joe.

my new foam swords are almost finished / a paper prop piece for the event in 2 weeks ......TOO bad after 2 weeks from now I am leaving the ampguard group( yes the event is my last). The funny thing Was last week I met a member who played 2 years of ring game and wants to do it agin. Another plus is there are some others there that are truly intrested in ring game so I am bringing my folder that has the rule book and map.

I am been geting thae depressed feeling that I want to go do things but not alone / sick of being screwed. I know once I get my next pay check i can make the 2 chairs that have been ordered, get some of the painting supplies I need for the repaint and repairs.
I wish I watch the event calenders of the SCA better I found out it was the border skirmish That was my first event and did ralize it was today and by the time I found out (after calling my girl to say Hi and chat) that if I went everyone be done and leaving (found out a 3:30 and it is 1 hour 40 min to get there)

Well thats about it I am going to go back to staring at the tv.
Current Mood: depressed

6/7/09 08:06 pm - Boy it just seems to get worse

Well all as of today I literaly wish I could cry but couldn't. (story to come later on in this post why)
I finaly, after 3 months, got my minis back...........WELL first the gut painted the armor blue when I asked for green with X trims, I wrote out a detailed list and pic. I told him that it ws wrong , oh forgot he remoded the way I had then alos because he said they looked better the way he did it, well I said give me back the $25 I paid you. He said," NO, I can't do that you got what you paid for ...plus You knew I was busy with my own war hammer minnis."
First they did end up looking like war hammer figs, exccept for the horse which I can salvage. Second I told him I would not replace the viking chair he wanted to due to the materials used. Then basicaly all the group he belongs too backed him up. GAAHH!!!!!!

Now I have to prey that Pegaus games have the parts in the $1 mod bin I used agin and I will accept the help of my girl(which I should have first) and my mom (who i found out use to paint crafts and pictures close to size of the minis) This is combining with all the other crap in life going on.

Now so all will understand why I have never cried in sadness for now going on 12 years. I was told at age 8, by my dad and my grandma, that I should not cry your a Haverty (aka old bull shit society status) well at age 18 (start of my senior year I had a break down do to stress) and then was told If you want to be true to your family you will never cry. (yes my dad) well since then I have never been able to cry and only can be a stone cold pillar. I have been trying to break this mental brainwashing, but yet to no avail. After today I wish I could with the money wasted.

Well I know all will say hugs and hang in there and I thakyou.................In truth I need to have a "No Obligation" couple of days. That is unfortunaly in truth more then 5 years hopeful away.

wishing I could cry

ps here I know many have worse but I will say I prey for the 2 month old preme Gabrieal and his mother

Mood: depressed but spirtualy preying for good
Current Mood: depressed
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